Sept. 27 12:35 AM
You asked me to cook you dinner just like old times. You requested steak, salad, and this special dipping sauce I made with rice.
You said we are on the road to being to normal.
What is normal and how do we get there again?
Do I put aside all the pain, tears, and frustration you cause me? Do I pretend like it doesn’t exist or that my feelings doesn’t matter?
I don’t understand how you expect us to be normal when I still feel the way I feel: unloved and unwanted.
I packed your things and I asked you to leave. I told you I cannot do this anymore.
I am exhausted. I am exhausted with everything. Tired of making excused. Tired of expectation. Tired of wanting. Tired of it all.
Can’t you see you caused this all on me? I became thin, have no appetite to eat.
I am mentally and physically drained. I have no more strength to fight for something I once believed in.
I did my part. I really tired. I fought hard. But now I have to let go and let faith take it’s course.
Please, I am begging you, please have the courage to let me go and stay away from me.