40 Minutes Until My Birthday

Sept. 15 11:19 PM

Dear You,

It’s 40 minutes until my 26th birthday and I wonder if you will show up at midnight with a balloon and a card. Or maybe you will call to say Happy Birthday. But I can’t get my hopes up just in case you don’t do either one of these or I don’t hear from you. I will be super sad.

While I was at work, I wrote all the ways you took me for granted and boy was that a long list. I wanted to call you and tell you. But I thought it would be better if I let you read it yourself. Then maybe, just maybe you will actually noticed how great of a person I was to you. Then maybe you will actually see me for who I truly am. Maybe then you can learn to love me for me.

But I thought enough of the no love and it’s my 26th birthday, so why not actually enjoy the moment with you.

I text you at 9:40 PM to see what you were doing. But there was no reply. You are probably at your boys house drinking again. I wanted to make a late night dinner, take a walk to the harbor, sip on some Henny and show you the horizon.

It’s really peaceful at night. Perfect spot to reflect and just enjoy each other’s company. I figured we would exchange stories of our days and then my fears of turning 26. Then your plans of my birthday.

Then we would walk home, giggling all the way, hands over each other just like that one night by the Christening Museum. The emotions and love would be there all over again. We would go home to have amazing sex and then I would sleep in your arms and hug you tight.

And the best thing about it is that when I wake up, you will be right there by my side. You will be there with me when I turn 26.

But it’s 30 minutes till my birthday and you still haven’t contacted me. I won’t contact you. I guess there goes my plans down the drain. I want to have hope you will be here at 12 with  but knowing you, you won’t.

I won’t let you bring down this beautiful smile of waiting to turn 26. Or I will have the courage to go to the harbor without you and enjoy the night and cool breeze without you.




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